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Steph's Journey

Hello there, I'm Steph. I am mum of two small humans, a theatre director, acting coach, certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner, HeartMath coach and mBIT (Multiple Brain Integration Techniques) Master Coach and have worked and coached all over the UK and across the seas. 

I run Both Feet Actor Training and am a specialist in The Meisner Technique which is a training technique designed to guide actors out of their heads and into the present moment so they can be fearless, impulsive, instinctual and honest. 

A stranger once asked me “how do you teach actors how to act?” A question I’d never asked myself. I thought for a few minutes and then I said to him that I don’t train actors to “act”, really what I do is help them notice and strip back their programmed responses so they can be truly open, truthful and available to do their job. Every element of what I do on a day to day basis directly influences and infuses the rest so there’s no clear line between my work with actors, my personal coaching work and even my job as a human, a wife, a friend and a mum. 

So much of what I do isn’t just acting related, it’s human related which is why I began to extend my work out beyond actors. We all need to know how to look after ourselves, how to listen to ourselves (and others!), how to be ok with everything we’re full of so it can all move the way it was born to. And we all need those tools to help get us through the highs and lows of life. 

When I look back, it’s not a big surprise I’ve ended up where I have - so many of us end up teaching the thing we need to learn the most.

I’ve spent so much of my life being run by a dialogue of self loathing and a sense of unworthiness with an overwhelming, deeply powerful feeling that I belonged nowhere. I have spent many years treating that with food, or a lack of, as a subconscious way to keep me safe. In my teens I was tucked away in a hospital for 4ish months, also to keep me safe. Over the course of my life I have hit points so low I’ve not wanted to wake up.

It’s hard now, comprehending where I've been and what I’ve been through because of the balance I feel inside the core of my being now. I’m absolutely still a work-in-progress, as we all are, but never in my wildest dreams could I imagine that the shouting in my head wouldn’t be there. That I could still care deeply about people without being drowned by what they might think of me. That I could sleep well. That I could still work hard without it consuming me to the point of being deliriously ill. That the trauma I’ve experienced could still be a part of me without feeling like I was dragging myself through quicksand every day.

I’ve been subconsciously working on myself for quite some time. I’ve always strived to be a better human, to find ways to strip back the bits of me I didn’t want but in 2020 something huge shifted. I had an idea so I began to design a Forging New Pathways programme and in that process, without meaning to, I flicked a switch.

I've been gaining weight since my hospital stint in my teens. A way to keep me safe which then turned into addiction and "just the way it is". It didn't seem to matter what I did, I'd always put the weight back on, and then some, with added hatred sprinkled on top.

During my first pregnancy I was in so much pain I could barely move, so inevitably I piled on the pounds. Once Fox was born (emergency c-section) I didn't trust my body at all. I didn't trust it to keep me or Fox safe. I didn't leave the house much unless I had Iain there. I hated him playing golf or doing anything away from us because I was riddled with fear, guilt, shame, self loathing. And what seems bonkers to me now - I honestly didn't even realise it. Genuinely it's a miracle that Iain is still here with me - he loves golf deeply and I stopped him from playing it. It's hard to comprehend who I was.

I’ve lost 4 stone (so far) which is obviously great but honestly, (and surprising to me) it’s not about that. 

It turns out, the thing I needed was balance - in every part of my existence. 

For the first time in my life I genuinely care enough about me to invest time and energy every day to make sure there’s balance, most of the time now I don’t even realise I’m doing it. And f*ck my life, it feels good. The best thing about it is that none of it has been hard work, it's all been so easy. There's no shouting in my head any more. No degrading, offending horribleness in there any more. There's a conversation, with compassionate listening, followed through with action.

​My favourite change? Loving and respecting Iain's golfing. He plays twice a week now and has a lesson. It's a necessary part of our lives. 

Like I said, I am still a work-in-progress. We're constantly changing, nothing stands still. So everything I do with the people I coach, I do too - I don't coach from the outside, I'm in it with you.  

When we work together I'll share practical tools with you, we'll reflect, talk, listen. I'm not hugely goal orientated, I'm far more interested in the process, in today, the now, but we will build some stepping stones together to hold where we'd like to go in our hearts with space to move and change as we do. 

Some of you will have huge profound experiences and others of you will make so many little changes that you won’t even realise until you look back and see how different you have become. 

I cannot wait to work with you and to share this space with you. 

If you are ready to make some changes, the best option is the Mastering Me Retreat


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