mBIT 1:1 with Steph
|
Here are some beautiful words from people who have done the 12 week Forging New Paths programme with Steph...
I've been mulling this over for a bit, mainly because reflecting on the whole process is so monumental that my head's melted in the process! I keep coming back to this because my heart has lots and lots to say, and the biggest one is thank you Steph. Thank you so much for building this, for creating a space where celebration and nourishment is essential, for creating a little space in the world where the hurtful things we do to protect ourselves are brought into light, not a harsh and cruel light, but a light that allows us to see the vulnerability that sits behind it. I never thought that I would be able to shake off the mantle that other people and I had made, I thought that was who I was, I thought I wasn't really truly capable of loving and that my kindness was a ruse. Thank you for all of this.
Oh too many words, too many words to write here.
- Why did you sign up?
I had a few moments where my decisions and reactions seemed to be happening without me having any input, I would watch myself act in a certain way and find every way to justify my actions even when I was unhappy with them. It felt like my life was happening to me; it was just a series of events that kept happening to me and I felt trapped and bound by it. I wanted to break apart the behaviours that I knew were getting in the way of accepting goodness in my life and I just wanted to feel less bound and restricted. I had processed a lot of things to do with my past and knew that there were things I wanted to work on, and knew I had to take some steps to stop my future-fear from continuing to impact how I was living in the now. I'd heard about the first group doing the process & almost couldn't believe it, it felt a little too good to be true, but I really wanted to believe it. I really wanted to be the kind of person who worked with themselves to live differently. I wanted to be free of the pressures that I'd put on myself.
- Did anything nearly stop you?
The thought of pencilling time in for 'me' felt so daunting. I'd told myself that I couldn't possibly get up early on a Sunday morning to do something for myself, that it was too early, that it was one of my only lie-ins, but those were excuses for the fact that I was scared to make space for myself. But I took the leap anyway.
- Are you glad you did?
Without a doubt - I'm here now. I'm here and I'm in my life, not controlling it or restricting, not feeling like a passenger, but living my own life.
- What are the biggest and/or your favourite changes?
I feel free and I am free. I exist now and not as a result of my past; I exist here and not in spite of what happened to me. The biggest change is my perspective on things. I'm not forcing positivity or optimism, but I'm at peace with the things I feel and think. The pressure to be perfect, to think perfect, to act perfect has dissipated. Instead, I'm letting myself be so much more and it's affecting how I approach the people I love. I approach them so much more kindly with my thoughts: I look for kindness or understanding in things that have upset me, rather than using their behaviour as a way of justifying cruelty or unkindness that I show myself. Instead of seeing disagreements or arguments as an opportunity to 'win' or get one up on the other person, or prove that they may be right/wrong about me, I'm in that moment with them and not observing it from outside looking in.
Loving people is easier, loving them all-in. Not fearing that their rejection will destroy, but allowing myself to be heartbroken and knowing that that's nothing to be afraid of.
A change I'm really loving is finding so much joy in so many little thing, and even things that used to irritate me. A rainy day used to be fine, but it would be cumbersome and be irritating. Now I can feel myself relishing that sound of raindrops, I find myself looking forward to changes in weather and I'm finding joy in the coldest of weather for no particular reason. I can do things, errands and little tasks, not out of obligation but because it feels good to do them. I say yes, not out of obligation, but out of a sense of adventure and anticipation. I say yes to myself.
I'm free. I once lived with this pit in my stomach that would bring me inward. It would (I would) build entire worlds and scenarios to convince me that I wasn't worthy of love, that I wasn't worthy of kindness, that I was only pretending to be 'good' so that people would like me because whatever I really was was 'too much' or manipulative. Now, I'm letting each moment go as it needs to. I don't fear myself anymore.
I'm starting to realise that I do matter to myself and to other people; that my being here matters. That's huge.
- What would you say to someone who was thinking about signing up?
Just do it. Take this leap because, if you're considering it, you're already part-way there. If there's a seed of a thought in you that feels that something in you wants to change, that's enough. You're going to face things about yourself that you've dressed up and disguised or hidden away, but you are not what you think. You are not.
- Anything else you want to say
I had no idea what I would feel like after these weeks, and I don't think I could have ever pictured the parts of me that Steph has encouraged me to nourish and nurture. Steph has allowed me to leave that guilt and judgement behind, and accountability and generosity have replaced it. And my buddy has allowed me to really bring kindness into the every day, they've shown me so much kindness and love that I can't help but to feel it too.
I'm still the same person, but now I've come home to myself. I'm home.
Oh too many words, too many words to write here.
- Why did you sign up?
I had a few moments where my decisions and reactions seemed to be happening without me having any input, I would watch myself act in a certain way and find every way to justify my actions even when I was unhappy with them. It felt like my life was happening to me; it was just a series of events that kept happening to me and I felt trapped and bound by it. I wanted to break apart the behaviours that I knew were getting in the way of accepting goodness in my life and I just wanted to feel less bound and restricted. I had processed a lot of things to do with my past and knew that there were things I wanted to work on, and knew I had to take some steps to stop my future-fear from continuing to impact how I was living in the now. I'd heard about the first group doing the process & almost couldn't believe it, it felt a little too good to be true, but I really wanted to believe it. I really wanted to be the kind of person who worked with themselves to live differently. I wanted to be free of the pressures that I'd put on myself.
- Did anything nearly stop you?
The thought of pencilling time in for 'me' felt so daunting. I'd told myself that I couldn't possibly get up early on a Sunday morning to do something for myself, that it was too early, that it was one of my only lie-ins, but those were excuses for the fact that I was scared to make space for myself. But I took the leap anyway.
- Are you glad you did?
Without a doubt - I'm here now. I'm here and I'm in my life, not controlling it or restricting, not feeling like a passenger, but living my own life.
- What are the biggest and/or your favourite changes?
I feel free and I am free. I exist now and not as a result of my past; I exist here and not in spite of what happened to me. The biggest change is my perspective on things. I'm not forcing positivity or optimism, but I'm at peace with the things I feel and think. The pressure to be perfect, to think perfect, to act perfect has dissipated. Instead, I'm letting myself be so much more and it's affecting how I approach the people I love. I approach them so much more kindly with my thoughts: I look for kindness or understanding in things that have upset me, rather than using their behaviour as a way of justifying cruelty or unkindness that I show myself. Instead of seeing disagreements or arguments as an opportunity to 'win' or get one up on the other person, or prove that they may be right/wrong about me, I'm in that moment with them and not observing it from outside looking in.
Loving people is easier, loving them all-in. Not fearing that their rejection will destroy, but allowing myself to be heartbroken and knowing that that's nothing to be afraid of.
A change I'm really loving is finding so much joy in so many little thing, and even things that used to irritate me. A rainy day used to be fine, but it would be cumbersome and be irritating. Now I can feel myself relishing that sound of raindrops, I find myself looking forward to changes in weather and I'm finding joy in the coldest of weather for no particular reason. I can do things, errands and little tasks, not out of obligation but because it feels good to do them. I say yes, not out of obligation, but out of a sense of adventure and anticipation. I say yes to myself.
I'm free. I once lived with this pit in my stomach that would bring me inward. It would (I would) build entire worlds and scenarios to convince me that I wasn't worthy of love, that I wasn't worthy of kindness, that I was only pretending to be 'good' so that people would like me because whatever I really was was 'too much' or manipulative. Now, I'm letting each moment go as it needs to. I don't fear myself anymore.
I'm starting to realise that I do matter to myself and to other people; that my being here matters. That's huge.
- What would you say to someone who was thinking about signing up?
Just do it. Take this leap because, if you're considering it, you're already part-way there. If there's a seed of a thought in you that feels that something in you wants to change, that's enough. You're going to face things about yourself that you've dressed up and disguised or hidden away, but you are not what you think. You are not.
- Anything else you want to say
I had no idea what I would feel like after these weeks, and I don't think I could have ever pictured the parts of me that Steph has encouraged me to nourish and nurture. Steph has allowed me to leave that guilt and judgement behind, and accountability and generosity have replaced it. And my buddy has allowed me to really bring kindness into the every day, they've shown me so much kindness and love that I can't help but to feel it too.
I'm still the same person, but now I've come home to myself. I'm home.
I signed up because I was constantly in my head; chatting away and would end up beating myself up because of it. I didn't take up space or had a voice. I had no idea how to get there or what to do, I kept getting angry at myself. I had/have so much trust in Steph, and knew this course is what I needed.
What nearly stopped me from signing up was having a buddy and working in a group. Having a buddy, I was like "Ahhhhhhh what am I gonna say?" " what kind of relationship are we gonna have?" All of the what if's were floating around my head. The same what ifs came up about working in a group and the fright of letting the group down or my buddy.
I am so glad I signed up!!!! I have loved working in a group, knowing that there are others who are having the same thought patterns as me or feeling the same way as me about things. I have learnt a lot about myself by listening to others. There have been so many moments where someone has shared something in the group and I have been like "ohhhh yeahh i do that too or yep I need to make space for that" It has been really nice to feel so much support and safety I'm so thankful for having a buddy! Someone to talk to, allowing them to lift me when I really needed to be lifted.
My biggest/ favourite changes:
Taking up space
Having a voice
Being kinder to myself and the people around me
Being present
Listening
Doing things and not thinking about doing them
I feel so much more lighter and open
I would say DO IT!!! JUMP!!
What nearly stopped me from signing up was having a buddy and working in a group. Having a buddy, I was like "Ahhhhhhh what am I gonna say?" " what kind of relationship are we gonna have?" All of the what if's were floating around my head. The same what ifs came up about working in a group and the fright of letting the group down or my buddy.
I am so glad I signed up!!!! I have loved working in a group, knowing that there are others who are having the same thought patterns as me or feeling the same way as me about things. I have learnt a lot about myself by listening to others. There have been so many moments where someone has shared something in the group and I have been like "ohhhh yeahh i do that too or yep I need to make space for that" It has been really nice to feel so much support and safety I'm so thankful for having a buddy! Someone to talk to, allowing them to lift me when I really needed to be lifted.
My biggest/ favourite changes:
Taking up space
Having a voice
Being kinder to myself and the people around me
Being present
Listening
Doing things and not thinking about doing them
I feel so much more lighter and open
I would say DO IT!!! JUMP!!
Let’s face it. Times be tough. Being a part of this group has given me an anchor and a place to harbour. The beautiful thing about this work is that you don’t feel your’re walking alone, even though you are on your own unique path. Working with the group shows you the universality of the things we struggle with, which in turn calls in acceptance and self-compassion like the sun calls in the spring.
It’s inspiring to see everyone living their truth. They are there with you, showing up for themselves, throwing out old habits and old ways that no longer serve them. And you’re doing it too, and it’s way easier than you think when you’ve got the tools, structure, support and regular commitment.
Your mind really does go where you put your attention. As your mind changes so does your life, the way you feel about it, the way it looks literally and your perspective of it. All for the better.
Stephanie Morgan is a great guide and a brilliant coach, and part of that is because she knows you can’t take a horse to water, but that doesn’t stop her providing the water. She teaches you how to lay the paths and you build and walk them. It’s really simple, and so effective. You get the be exactly the person you want to be, and this work will show you how.
If you’ve got any questions just let me know. I’m not on commission I just know that this work is gold, especially right now.
It’s inspiring to see everyone living their truth. They are there with you, showing up for themselves, throwing out old habits and old ways that no longer serve them. And you’re doing it too, and it’s way easier than you think when you’ve got the tools, structure, support and regular commitment.
Your mind really does go where you put your attention. As your mind changes so does your life, the way you feel about it, the way it looks literally and your perspective of it. All for the better.
Stephanie Morgan is a great guide and a brilliant coach, and part of that is because she knows you can’t take a horse to water, but that doesn’t stop her providing the water. She teaches you how to lay the paths and you build and walk them. It’s really simple, and so effective. You get the be exactly the person you want to be, and this work will show you how.
If you’ve got any questions just let me know. I’m not on commission I just know that this work is gold, especially right now.
- Participant's post on Facebook
Why did you sign up?
It was the middle of the first lockdown in May 2020 and I had experienced various big career/personal disruptions. Like many of us with the lockdown enforced slow down, I had some time to re-evaluate my priorities and wanted to make sure I prioritised my own mental health and well-being.
Did anything nearly stop you?
I was worried it would be ‘therapy’ or I would be forced to share deep and personal things with a group, which was not something I was prepared to do. I checked this out with Steph and she assured me it was not and I would not!
I also had a bit of prejudice in that I haven’t ever accessed any ‘help’ like this before, and am in fact usually the person other people in my circles come to for ‘help’.
Are you glad you did?
Hell yes. I’ve recommended the process to so many people! I’ve also come away with a fantastic group of supportive, wholesome, positive friends - which I didn’t expect from starting out on this process.
What are the biggest and/or your favourite changes?
I feel more aware that, even when it doesn’t feel like it, I have SO MANY choices each day and I can exercise agency over these. This means I no longer see myself as a victim of my own circumstances or at the mercy of other people’s whims and decisions: I am captain of my own ship and can choose where and how I focus my precious time attention whilst spinning on this rock.
I have realised that my voice is important and deserves to be heard.
I have been so inspired by the group which has contributed hugely to my personal journey. I also have a toolkit of techniques, including freewriting, which I can access at all times to help me move forward regardless of what is facing me.
What would you say to someone who was thinking about signing up?
Are you prepared to invest some energy, time (and sure, some money) into finding balance in your life? If not, why not? Do it. You won’t regret it.
It was the middle of the first lockdown in May 2020 and I had experienced various big career/personal disruptions. Like many of us with the lockdown enforced slow down, I had some time to re-evaluate my priorities and wanted to make sure I prioritised my own mental health and well-being.
Did anything nearly stop you?
I was worried it would be ‘therapy’ or I would be forced to share deep and personal things with a group, which was not something I was prepared to do. I checked this out with Steph and she assured me it was not and I would not!
I also had a bit of prejudice in that I haven’t ever accessed any ‘help’ like this before, and am in fact usually the person other people in my circles come to for ‘help’.
Are you glad you did?
Hell yes. I’ve recommended the process to so many people! I’ve also come away with a fantastic group of supportive, wholesome, positive friends - which I didn’t expect from starting out on this process.
What are the biggest and/or your favourite changes?
I feel more aware that, even when it doesn’t feel like it, I have SO MANY choices each day and I can exercise agency over these. This means I no longer see myself as a victim of my own circumstances or at the mercy of other people’s whims and decisions: I am captain of my own ship and can choose where and how I focus my precious time attention whilst spinning on this rock.
I have realised that my voice is important and deserves to be heard.
I have been so inspired by the group which has contributed hugely to my personal journey. I also have a toolkit of techniques, including freewriting, which I can access at all times to help me move forward regardless of what is facing me.
What would you say to someone who was thinking about signing up?
Are you prepared to invest some energy, time (and sure, some money) into finding balance in your life? If not, why not? Do it. You won’t regret it.
I signed up so I could give myself a chance to find me again, to get back the confidence I know I had lost.
My favourite change is being able to clock negative behaviour patterns and language and not let it spiral. I’ve noticed a huge difference in my relationships in a positive way and have these amazing tools to take with me.
I’m so glad I did this, I have connected with an amazing group of strong powerful women and shared experiences I never thought I’d have. I may still lose myself now and then but I’ll never feel alone because I know this group has gone through it with me.
I would highly recommend working with Steph, it’s helped me in so many ways. It’s a safe space which has helped me understand things in my life that I never even thought I could. It’s been tough and scary at times but I’ve come out stronger. Thank you so much.
My favourite change is being able to clock negative behaviour patterns and language and not let it spiral. I’ve noticed a huge difference in my relationships in a positive way and have these amazing tools to take with me.
I’m so glad I did this, I have connected with an amazing group of strong powerful women and shared experiences I never thought I’d have. I may still lose myself now and then but I’ll never feel alone because I know this group has gone through it with me.
I would highly recommend working with Steph, it’s helped me in so many ways. It’s a safe space which has helped me understand things in my life that I never even thought I could. It’s been tough and scary at times but I’ve come out stronger. Thank you so much.
"You have reminded me I'm only human.
Steered me towards the positive.
Been a constant source of support.
Encouraged lightness.
Called my bullshit.
Improved my relationship with my children,
and husband,
and others.
Brought my critic to the light.
Made the mirror less scary.
Guided my out of ̶m̶y̶ depression.
Helped me to feel worthy.
Steered me towards the positive.
Been a constant source of support.
Encouraged lightness.
Called my bullshit.
Improved my relationship with my children,
and husband,
and others.
Brought my critic to the light.
Made the mirror less scary.
Guided my out of ̶m̶y̶ depression.
Helped me to feel worthy.
- Participant 2020
"Community is much more than belonging to something;
it’s about doing something together which makes belonging matter"
~ Brian Solis
it’s about doing something together which makes belonging matter"
~ Brian Solis